Still Impressive...

Ah, the 4th of July. One of my favorite holidays, mainly because all I'm expected to do is get drunk and play with pretty fireworks. What could be better?
And this year, I certainly lived up to the expectations I just mentioned.

For the 4th, the whole lot of us went over to Mautner and Big Timmy's place for some BBQ action. We played some horse shoes (I of course got nailed in the shin with one, because I am who I am), made tasty burgers on the grill, played some beer pong, and drank till we could drink no more.

Once the fireworks started...things got a little out of hand. From Mautner and Tim's place, we could see the fireworks all over the valley, which was pretty awesome. We all stood out in the street and did the obligatory oooooh and aaaaaah-ing...it was great fun. But it just wasn't ENOUGH fun. So a few folks had brought a hefty supply of fireworks from Wyoming so we could make our own fun. I had only brought sparklers, so I was pumped to have something really fun to play with.

I'm not sure why it never occurred to me that doing illegal fireworks while drunk may not have been a good idea, but I wish it would have. I can't tell you how many Roman Candles I successfully set off, but I can tell you that one did not go so well. I am now the proud owner of a gimpy thumb, due to a nasty 2nd degree burn on my knuckle that has resulted in a HUGE blister that the Doc says I really don't want to pop. Apparently, the skin underneath is nowhere near ready to be exposed to the world. So now my thumb is in a splint, since bending it will pop the blister and it's all bandaged up and covered in goo to keep it from drying out. Oh, and it hurts.

Anywho, after the fireworks of death, we all headed back to the house for more drinking. I probably should have called it a night, but eh...charred flesh is charred flesh, no matter when you go to bed.
More drinking led to more fantastic ideas...case in point, naked hot tub. I have now seen more of my duder friends peepers than I care to admit. I am scarred for life...as I imagine they are from seeing my beached whale of an ass floating around in there. Ah well, what can you do?

After that, Whil and I headed home. Oh, another word to the wise: When cramming more people than previously thought possible into a hot tub, don't leave your purse sitting right next to it. Yeah, it wasn't pretty. But at least my phone survived!

So home we went. The next day, we were informed as to what we missed. Apparently, another friend of ours had gotten in an argument with his girlfriend (well, as we hear it, the whole party had turned into one gigantic argument) and had gone ape shit nuts...or as Regular Sized Timmy pit it "He went nuts, like...man vs wild nuts". Apparently, he decided to go to his parent's place in Lehi. He surely shouldn't have been driving, considering that we were in the Aves and he got on the freeway headed North. He wound up in Ogden, in a parking lot. He woke up in his car and realized he was bleeding profusely from the bum. Further inspection would indicate that he was missing a rather large chunk of his ass cheek. Why/How? That, we don't know.

So there you have it...our nation's birthday. Done up right.