The tide could very well be turning...

Well first of all, I totally ate shit coming up the stairs to work today. I was carrying a massive DCOI (for those who aren't awesome, that's a Diet Coke on Ice which is basically the love of my life), trying to put my sunglasses in my purse, and juggling BoDee's blanky all at once. I was 3 stairs from the top and my shoe somehow came off. I have small feet and damn near every pair of shoes I own is too big. I fell forward and landed with all of my weight on one knee. Of course it was my bad knee. Of course. You know what though? I saved my DCOI. I could have been concerned about hurting myself, but that seems just slightly less important than preserving my morning pick me up. As I fell, I yelled "shit!" rather loudly. I don't know why, but I physically cannot fall without screaming some sort of obscenity. Luckily, I get here pretty early so there weren't too many people to witness my fall. There were a couple dudes at their desks, so I just looked up, sprawled out on the floor, smiled and said "Hello!". What else can you do? So that's my morning.

Moving on, yesterday I had my performance review. I was pretty nervous about it, I won't lie. I feel like I work pretty damn hard, and give this job everything I have to give it, but there are times when I feel like my best just isn't good enough. There are definitely nights when I'm crying to Whil, wondering if maybe this just isn't the place for me. That actually happened just last week after a manager candidly told me that he felt I was awesome at the adhering to and enforcing the process involved with my job, but just plain sucked at my actual job. So you can see why I was just a little concerned. I could not have been more wrong. I left that review feeling motivated and renewed. Everything I've been striving to accomplish in this role has been recognized, and appreciated. Who knew!? And beyond all the positive feedback, I got a raise! Go me! I can't tell you how grateful I am. I know there are people being laid off, or struggling to find work, and here I am getting a raise. It's just so nice to be secure, and even more than that, to love what I do. I'm a happy little lady right now.

Also, I don't know how I've forgotten to mention it up till now, but I am well on my way to becoming a non-smoker! At the moment, I only smoke when I drink, which I feel pretty damn good about. So really, that means that I only smoke occasionally on the weekends. Not bad! Soon enough, I won't even need to do that. As much as I bitched about it, I have to say...the thing that really helped was the laws changing about smoking in bars. Having to leave my drink unattended, lose my spot or table and go outside and freeze my ass off is just so not appealing. We'll see how I handle it in the summer. I'm hoping by then, I'm over smoking when I'm drinking. So keep thinking happy thoughts for me!